PATTERNS AND TONES

Lynn Peril is the author of three books, most recently Swimming in the Steno Pool: A Retro Guide to Making it in the Office , a history of women office professionals. Her column, The Museum of Femoribilia , appears in Bust magazine, and she is a regular contributor to HiLobrow.com . Her writing has also appeared in London’s Guardian newspaper,  The New York Times , and on NPR’s “All Things Considered ." She lives in Oakland, California, with her husband and three cats. From the moment she’s wrapped in a pink blanket, long past the traumatic birthday when she realizes her age is greater than her bust measurement, the human female is bombarded with advice on how to wield [her] feminine wiles. This advice ranges from rather vague proscriptions along the lines of “nice girls don’t chew gum/swear/wear pants/fill-in-the-blank,” to obsessively elaborate instructions for daily living. How many women’s lives, for example, were enriched by former Miss America Jacque Merc...